Step 21 - Love what you do

Day 21 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

Do you love what you do with the majority of your time, be it paid work, home maker, job seeking or retiree?  Do you enjoy what you do?

If you’re working make sure you’re doing a job you enjoy.  I know that’s not always possible.  You may be stuck in a job that you hate because you need the money to live.  But if you really dislike the job, don’t just put up with it, look at ways of either improving the job your doing, look for another job or  retrain for a different career – something you enjoy doing.  Life is too short to be wasting time and energy in a job you hate.  How can you be happy and contented if you spend the majority of your time doing something you don’t enjoy? 

There have been many times when I’ve had jobs I don’t enjoy and I’ve had to do them for the money, but I’ve always had plans and goals and if ever I had to do a job I didn’t like, I’d know that it’s only a means to an end and then it wouldn’t seem so bad. 

I’ve also had times when I’ve been a stay at home mum.  I know how difficult and lonely it can be.  I especially found it hard in the beginning with my first child.  I was used to working and found it difficult staying at home with no one but a baby to talk to.  But, I managed by finding things for us to do together to get me out the house and meeting people.  I joined tumble tots, baby music classes, I went to all the clinics and joined up for the toddler group as soon as he was old enough.  That was in England where there are loads of things for you to do with your little ones.  When we moved to France it was a different case.  There is not so much to do with babies – no tumble tots or toddler groups and I started to feel really isolated.  So, I started my own group – I advertised on an English forum for other English speaking mums in the area and we started meeting weekly at each others houses.  So, if your bored or lonely, you have to go out there and join in something or start something yourself. Nothings going to happen if you just sit and wait for it to come knocking on your door.

I know it’s difficult when you’re looking for work and maybe can’t get the job you want or maybe even any job, but try to use your time wisely.  Join the local library and read up on things that interest you, take advantage of the free courses and training you can get while looking for work.  Think about maybe starting your own business – you don’t have to have loads of money to start a business.  Why not volunteer and help out a local charity, by doing something useful with your time, it will make you feel better about yourself and it’s more likely to open up other opportunities to you.  It will also give you something more positive to talk about in interviews.  Companies will be more impressed if they hear that you’ve been using your time usefully.  Don’t wait for things to happen, you have to make them happen.

Think about your life – what do you spend the majority of your time doing?  Is it something you enjoy doing?  If it isn’t, look at ways of changing it.  If you spend the majority of your time doing something that makes you unhappy or dissatissfied, how can you expect to be happy and contented with your life as a whole?

I can't say I love everything I have to do, but I do enjoy the majority of things I do with my time.  It hasn't always been so and I've had to work hard and continue working hard to make it this way. It's so important to enjoy what you do with the majority of your time, so make sure you give it the effort it needs to make it happen.

  How about you.  Do you love what you do? 

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day

Step 20 - Forgive and Forget

Day 20 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

Things happen in life sometimes and it's difficult to see why.  There are times in everyones life when someone does something that hurts us.


We have a choice how to react to such times.  The initial reactions of hurt and anger are difficult to avoid, they are instinctive feelings and are perfectly natural, but after those initial gut reactions, we have a choice.  We can either hold onto them and become resentful and bitter, or we can let got of these negative feelings and forgive and forget.


Feelings of resentment and bitterness are negative and serve no purpose.  They create bad feeling around you and more importantly within you. If you hang onto feelings of resetment and bitterness, it can only do you harm in the long run.


You can not be happy and contented if you hold onto negative feelings, so let them go - forgive and forget.  I'd share a personal experience with you, but I've forgotten them all!  I'm joking, of course you can't totally forget something you felt wronged by, but you can forgive and by forgiving you will find that the memory will become less hurtful to you.  If you insist on holding onto the negative feelings you actually reinforce the hurtful event or situation into your memory. 


Forgiving is not the same as ignoring.  If the wrong doing is serious enough to make you feel this person is not worth continuing an assosication with, then distance yourself from them if you can.  Just don't hold onto those feelings of resentment, it's not good for you.


It is actually a really liberating feeling to forgive somebody.  It takes strength and courage to let go of resentment, but it makes you feel stronger and good about yourself to acknowledge that you've managed to rise above the situation.  It leads to greater understanding of yourself and others.

So, don't be resentful and bitter - forgive and forget, you'll feel a whole lot better for it.

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day

Step 19 - Unconditional Giving

Day 19 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

Part of the journey towards happiness and contentment is learning the true art of unconditional giving.  By this I mean giving either your time, thoughts and/or resources to help others and expecting nothing in return.  This could be something like a charity, a friend in need, animal rescue or a complete stranger.


You may think, you can't just give, give, give and get nothing back, but you always get something back.  You get the pleasure that you've helped and contributed in some way to something or someone who needs your help.


I'm not talking about being a doormat and just giving yourself unconditionally to people who don't appreciate you.  I'm talking about being there for a friend in real need, getting involved with a charity that moves you or helping out a complete stranger who needs a hand.


I recently had a nightmare journey to Brittany (Help, medical emergency with kids on board).  My cousin had collapsed at the side of the road and I was on my own with 3 young (and very lively) children.  I had phoned for an ambulance, which took over 1/2 hour to come and it was pouring with rain.  An English family stopped in the lay-by and the lady came over to see if she could help me.  I was in shock and a bit of a wreck to be honest.  She helped me through it - she got an umbrella to cover my cousin, got my children involved and generally helped calm the situation and make me feel less alone.  When the ambulance eventually came, I thanked her profusely and they continued on their way.  


I can never thank that lady enough.  I have no idea of her name or who she was and will probably never see her again.  She didn't know me, she had nothing to gain from helping me, except the knowledge that she'd helped out a stranger in dire need. The tears are splashing onto my notebook as I relive this experience.  She probably has no idea just how much of a godsend she was to me on that day.  I will never, ever, forget her and only hope that there will be someone there for her if she ever needs it and that one day I can be there for someone else in a similar situation.


This is the sort of unconditional giving I'm talking about.  It is so rewarding to give your time and effort to something unconditionally.  To feel that your contribution, no matter how small, has made a difference in some way.  It's so important to give where help is needed, we are all in this world together and we all need help from time to time.  So give unconditionally -  the rewards are immeasurable

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day

Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you

Day 18 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

 Just a quick one today as I'm taking a leaf out of my own book (Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself).  You would not believe what I've had to cram into my day, so it's a wonder I've managed to write anything at all.

Today's tip, though short, is still a very important step towards happiness and contentment.

Smile and the world smiles with you

Simple, I know, but effective.  A smile is infectious, if you smile at others they can't help but smile back and it also makes you feel better inside.  So even if you're feeling upset, worried or down, just try smiling more.  It may not solve your problems, but it will make you feel better and people will react to you more positively.

Try it - what have you got to loose?

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day

Step 17 - Work to Live, don't Live to Work

Day 17 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

There have been many times in my life where my work has been my life.  Not so much by choice, but because circumstanes have made it that way.  Being self-employed you often have to work long hours, especially in the early days of a new business.  Since coming to France 7 years ago, we've started 3 new businesses.  The whole idea was to have more 'quality' time as a family, but about a year ago I realised that our working lives were taking over again.  We were living to work, rather than working to live.

The French have a healthy attitude to work.  Their home life is sacred.  They have 2 hour lunches every day - there's no point going to a shop for advice at 11.45, because they're getting ready to lock the doors for the midday dash to the local restaurant or home for a family meal.  Sundays are sacred and NOTHING is open.

At first coming from a 24/7 culture, I found this extremely frustrating.  it was often midday before I'd get to the shops and then I'd find them shut.  'Don't they know they're loosing money' I used to think.  Everything shut on a Sunday - even Garden Centres? Unthinkable!  Sunday at a Garden Centre in the UK is the busiest day!   So when we started up our Garden Cetnre 3 years ago, we decided to open 7 days a week and not shut for lunch.  Not one of our better ideas really!  Firstly, opening 7 days a week meant one of us had to be at the shop always, which meant we never had time together as a family.  Secondly, we had hardly any customers at lunchtimes and Sundays as the French are busy living, so there really was no point opening!

There comes a point when you have to stand back and look at what's going on in your life.  What is the point of continuously working if you're not able to live some of your life spending time with your friends and family.

We've become more relaxed about our opening hours now and close on Sunday and Monday, we don't open until 10am (which gives me chance to dash round the house before I get to work) and we close for lunch, when I either do some writing, go for a walk with a friend or anything but work.  I'm not totally rigid about it.  Sometimes I'll go into work on a Monday if we have a particularly busy week and sometimes I'll stay open for lunch, but generally we do stick to these hours as it's important to have time to live outside of work.

It's always a battle to find the right balance between work and home life.  If you're working from home I think it's even harder.  We've run businesses from home before (our first landscaping business in the UK was from home, we then ran a B&B and now we have holiday apartments here in France) and have found that it's easy to just continue working in the evening.  It's hard to relax when you can see the work on your desk that needs dealing with.

A good aspect of having our Garden Centre in a different premises is that at the end of the day I can lock the door, go home and (try) to forget about it.  Not always possible completely, but easier than when your businesses is run from your house.

Holiday's are so important and I know they're not always possible, but we always try and take one a year if we can. We live in a lovely area and we have 3 holiday appartments where people come and spend their summer holiday.  You might say, why take a holiday when you live in such beautiful surroundings.  It's true it's a lovely place and I often think how nice it must be to be here on holiday, but we can't totally relax here.  There's too much to do, it would be too tempting to cut the grass or do some painting or one of the other 1001 things needing doing.  No, the only way to totally relax is to go away somewhere different.  Not only does it give you the opportunity to share valuable time with your family but it also enables you to have a different perspective on your life.  We often come back from holiday filled with new ideas that we may not have thought of if we hadn't taken time out.

We are getting there, we are spending more time together and that's important.  The work does still take over sometimes as there are certain times of year (like now) where there are just not enough hours in the day to get everything done.  But, our business is still in it's infancy and I know that it will get better - it already has!

So, take a good look at your life.  Are you living to work?  If you are, take a break and consider how you can turn it round - you'll be glad you did.


You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day

Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People

Day 16 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

Have you ever been going about your daily life, feeling OK, then someone says to you 'Oh you look so tired, are you OK?'  'Yes I'm fine', 'Are you sure, you don't look good, I think you must be over doing it.'  Now I know these words are said out of concern, but they are likely to make you come away feeling down, depressed and sorry for yourself.


Or how about when you tell someone about a project your thinking of doing and they say 'I don't know, what about this, what about that, what if the sky falls in, what if the world ends, what if, what if...'.  Some peoples cup is always half empty.  They tend to look at and focus on the negatives, point out what can go wrong. Yes, you need to consider all aspects of a situation, but don't dwell on the negatives disproportionately.  If you do, then you'll never take a risk and you know what they say - nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Compare this to a more positive interaction.  You're going about your daily life, feeling OK then someone says something like 'You look really well. Have you lost weight? You hair looks nice ' etc.  Even if you weren't feeling that great at the time, positive comments like this give you an immediate boost.  You automatically smile, stand up straighter and it makes you feel good about yourself.
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People with a positive outlook can be inspiring and encouraging.  Tell a positive person your ideas and they'll suggest ways of achieving them or think of other applications and encourage you to go for it!

Negative people have a way of rubbing their negativity off on you.  It's catching so steer clear.  They can be draining and depressing. I know you can't always choose who you work with/family etc, but just be aware and try to spend much of your time with people with a more positive outlook on life. How can you be happy and contented if your surrounded by negatively?

However don't confuse negativity with depression or need.  If a friend or family member is having a tough time, the last thing they need is for you to distance yourself from them.  No, I'm talking about the moaners in life.  I'm sure you can think of some.  The ones that never have a positive thing to say about anything and yet probably have much to be thankful for.  It often seems the real sufferers, people who cope with all sorts of difficulties on a daily basis and who have every right to moan, don't!

So look out for those negative people and try to avoid them if possible. If you can't, at least let their negative comments wash off you.  If you make an effort to surround yourself with positive people you can let their positive energy rub off on you instead.

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day

Step 15 - Always Look on the Bright Side of LIfe

Day 15 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

Do you remember the song 'Always look on the Bright side of Life' from Monty Pythons' 'The Life of Brian', it always makes me laugh when I think of it, but it's very good advice.  

'That's easy to say, but harder to do' I hear you say.  Yes I know it is and at 7,30 this morning when I was clearing up runny dog poop which covered almost the entire floor space of our 90m2 living room, I thought the same.  But, as I was gagging and scraping up my dogs kind offerings into a plastic sack I thought hard about what the bright side could possibly be. I was not a happy bunny and there were more than a few expletives flying around this morning I can tell you!  How can there be a bright side to this situation? I asked myself.  After some thought I managed to come up with three.

Firstly, at least we have tiled floors and not a carpet (much easier to clear up), secondly it gave my floors a good clean which I had been meaning to do for some time and lastly, dog poop always makes good blogging material, doesn't it? Maybe not.....  Anyhow, it did make the task slightly more bearable and I started focusing on my blog and how I could use the experience to explain this point.  Cleared it up in no time, well that is if you consider over an hour no time (which I don't)!

What I'm trying to demonstrate is it's important to realise that we have a choice in how we respond to situations in life, we can either react positively or negatively. Fiona at NLP Mum wrote a really interesting post about this recently and it makes a lot of sense  NLP stands for Neuro Linguistic Programming and Fiona explains the basics in this post Change your thoughts and you change your world.

If by taking the positive route and looking on the bright side can make such a difference with a small event, just think how much greater that difference will be with the big events and situations in life!  
There are times of course when we don't want to look on the bright side, we may feel we need to have a moan or feel sorry for ourselves or seek sympathy in certain situations and that's fine. But, it's easy to become a victim, to waste time and energy thinking 'why is this happening to me'.  The truth is bad things happen to everyone, it's how we react to them that determines how we deal with them.  Just remember that looking on the bright side is not a cop out for dealing or facing problems, it's a way of coping with them. 

Looking on the bright side is also similar to looking on the funny side.  It's well known that laughter is actually good for us, so to find the funny side of what appears to be a bad situation often helps you get through it.  I had a terrible journey with my children in the Summer Help, Medical Emergency with Kids on Board and I must admit at the time it was horrendous and difficult to find the bright side, but once the danger was over I was able to laugh about it.  Now when I think about it I remember the funny side of it, not the trauma.

So, try to always look on the bright side of any situation and it will make it easier to cope with!

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day