Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People

Day 16 of the National Blog Post Month challenge where I’m writing a blog post every day along the theme of 30 Steps to Happiness and Contentment.

Have you ever been going about your daily life, feeling OK, then someone says to you 'Oh you look so tired, are you OK?'  'Yes I'm fine', 'Are you sure, you don't look good, I think you must be over doing it.'  Now I know these words are said out of concern, but they are likely to make you come away feeling down, depressed and sorry for yourself.

Or how about when you tell someone about a project your thinking of doing and they say 'I don't know, what about this, what about that, what if the sky falls in, what if the world ends, what if, what if...'.  Some peoples cup is always half empty.  They tend to look at and focus on the negatives, point out what can go wrong. Yes, you need to consider all aspects of a situation, but don't dwell on the negatives disproportionately.  If you do, then you'll never take a risk and you know what they say - nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Compare this to a more positive interaction.  You're going about your daily life, feeling OK then someone says something like 'You look really well. Have you lost weight? You hair looks nice ' etc.  Even if you weren't feeling that great at the time, positive comments like this give you an immediate boost.  You automatically smile, stand up straighter and it makes you feel good about yourself.
People with a positive outlook can be inspiring and encouraging.  Tell a positive person your ideas and they'll suggest ways of achieving them or think of other applications and encourage you to go for it!

Negative people have a way of rubbing their negativity off on you.  It's catching so steer clear.  They can be draining and depressing. I know you can't always choose who you work with/family etc, but just be aware and try to spend much of your time with people with a more positive outlook on life. How can you be happy and contented if your surrounded by negatively?

However don't confuse negativity with depression or need.  If a friend or family member is having a tough time, the last thing they need is for you to distance yourself from them.  No, I'm talking about the moaners in life.  I'm sure you can think of some.  The ones that never have a positive thing to say about anything and yet probably have much to be thankful for.  It often seems the real sufferers, people who cope with all sorts of difficulties on a daily basis and who have every right to moan, don't!

So look out for those negative people and try to avoid them if possible. If you can't, at least let their negative comments wash off you.  If you make an effort to surround yourself with positive people you can let their positive energy rub off on you instead.

You may be interested to read the other posts in this series:
Step 30 - The Key to Happiness and Contentment
Step 29 -You are the master of your own destiny
Step 28 - Don't give up on a good relationship
Step 27 - Don't Judge , Live and let live
Step 26 - Don't Worry, by happy
Step 25 - Never give up
Step 24 - Get by with a little help from your friends
Step 23 - Go with the Flow
Step 22 - Enjoy the moment
Step 21 - Love what you do
Step 20 - Forgive and Forget
Step 19 - Unconditional giving
Step 18 - Smile and the world smiles with you
Step 17 - Work to live, don't live to work
Step 16 - Surround yourself with Positive People
Step 15 - Always look on the bright side of life
Step 14 - Where there's a will there's a way
Step 13 - Silence is Golden
Step 12 - Feed your Soul
Step 11 - Follow your Dreams
Step 10 - Use your time wisely
Step 9 - Don't be too hard on yourself
Step 8 - Consider what you value most
Step 7 - Find time for Yourself
Step 6 - Make time for Family and Friends
Step 5 - Don't take yourself too Seriously
Step 4 - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway
Step 3 - Love what you Hate
Step 2 - There's no such word as CAN''T
Step 1 - Find the Best in Every Day


  1. totally agree! I know some people can be over the top, but positivity is where it's at! Have a great day! Love the theme. I've got one going at Lunchbox World - Lunch Box A-Z but spreading that out and sprinkling it in amongst some family anecdotes! Keep going with the #NaBloPoMo - are you in it for the long haul? Some have fallen at the first hurdle already! Come on, I'm with you! @lunchboxworld x

  2. I love your posts - so wise and I am going to find time to read ALL of them once NaBloPoMo madness is over. Well done for getting in earlier today- me too! We can do it, we really can. Oh and I'm sure you're looking gorgeous - even whilst cleaning!!

  3. This is a wonderful post and so true

    My two art partners, Violetta and Mary Rose from "" have as our company motto
    "tell me you want prayer; but only bring me the good news"

    We have all agreed that when creating art, a happy heart is necessary.

    It is surprising how many good things we can speak of, what we saw on our daily walk, recipes, good movies, the good books we are reading, great restaurants, great architecture, great gardens, great lectures, great exhibititions..
    It is also surprising how we can lift up those who are not feeling joyful when we engage in happy conversation.
    Love you blog. Great work
    Helen xx

  4. I have a great friend who always tells me how good I'm looking every time we speak - I've decided not to take into account that very often he is actually on the other end of the phone when he says this :)

  5. I had a friend who was/is always complaining about everything and criticizing. I slowly distanced myself from her. Another friend lives from crisis to crisis and I realized that this was not an atmosphere I wanted DD to be around. A third friend showed herself to be very manipulative and controlling. Don't worry, it's just those three out of many friends who I am happier not to have in my life. Yhe funny thing is that I put up with it for years until I became a mother - then suddenly I became protective of our lives in a way I never did for myself. I am mother, hear me roar!

  6. Hi @lunchboxworld, thanks for stopping by. Yes I'm in the long haul - I've come this far, I might as well finish. I certainly intend to anyway!

    Thanks for the support Rollercoaster Mum, yes I'm sure we can do it! Not sure about the looking good cleaning though lol!

    Thanks Helen, yes it's important to be in a positive frame of mind when being creative I think. That's a great motto - sounds like a great art group you have there. :)

    Hi Sarah, he obviously knows you well so can visualise what you look like even if you're not in front of him lol

    I suppose having children does make you more sesitive to what influences you want on them Midlife, and it's natural for you to want those influences to be positive. I seem to have had children so long (eldest is 21) I've sort of forgotten what life was like back then lol!